Hiding in the Spotlight
Growing up, the only people who knew the fullness of “Alisa” were my parents and maybe a few close friends. In Jr High, they knew I was obsessed with fashion, staying up late at night with a million magazines and beauty how-to guides.
They definitely knew when I first learned about personality types after reading a book called Personality Plus: How to Understand Others by Understanding Yourself in 10th grade because the four temperaments were all I could talk about. I gave personally assessments to all my family members one year over roasted turkey and mashed potatoes at Thanksgiving.
It was no surprise when years later I attended graduate school to study organizational leadership and executive coaching.
While in school, I was filming web shows for TasteFresno, an online food blog highlighting local restaurants and chefs. Fresno, CA is the agricultural capital of the world - we highlighted the local produce at farmers markets, tri-tip, handmade pasta and chefs sharing their family heritage in their kitchens. As the host, I was definitely known as a foodie around town and in the spotlight in a small sector of the community.
All this while learning how to transform large, seemingly immovable corporations and develop interventions to create lasting change. But nobody knew that part.
Before getting my coaching certification, I was coaching senior leaders who were having breakthroughs beyond both of our imaginations, but nobody knew that either.
I was in the spotlight but there weren’t many people who really knew me.
Why? Because it was easier that way. And, no one could put any weird pressures on me.
It was easier to limit myself and my capabilities before anyone else could. If I failed at anything, in the back of my head, I knew I wasn’t trying much, anyway.
Even for the web show, I didn’t always fix myself up much before filming. If I tried to look my best and people didn’t approve, then what!?
I’ve gotten really good at not showing up as my full self over the years. I’ve always felt too complex or too abstract, or worse, too misunderstood when I did show up.
Can you relate?
Where are you hiding? Where are you not showing up as your full self? Where are you often misunderstood?
Showing up or being visible means coming from a place of being all you.
You show up as all you in:
how you listen to others
the way you speak
as a thought leader publicly
as a self-leader privately
at home, work, in your circle of friends
how you own all parts of you
knowing what you want and asking for it
expressing your true feelings
times when it feels uncomfortable
Showing up is about BEING.
What area of your life would you like to show more parts of you? What’s holding you back?
You got this. I invite you to think of one tiny thing you can do today to become more visible.
I know that when I show up, magic happens. Looking back at my life, I see a lot of reasons why I’ve stayed hidden. Wanna know what they are?