How Two Trailblazers Get Comfortable with Failure

Dreaming big means going against other people’s limitations, including your own. Using your imagination to create a dream life in your head is only the first step to make it a reality. But it’s where many people get stuck. Think of the moments you’ve shared a lofty goal with someone and how it was instantly turned down for being “too unrealistic”. Or you, yourself deemed it impossible to achieve. 

Your goal was just declared a failure before you even got started. That’s when the fear of failure kicks in, distracting you from the actionable steps you can take towards your dream.

As kids, we were shielded from society’s standards to overachieve. Our imaginations were constantly running wild and we did things without worrying about the outcomes. The word failure was probably not even in our vocabulary. But the older we get, it becomes the “other F word.” We start drawing comparisons between ourselves and others who seem like they never fail. We become afraid of doing something wrong instead of focusing on just doing it. 

We spoke with Founder and President of Blue Bull Energy, Alma Del Toro and Tech Advocate, Shonna Dorsey on the Color Forward podcast. Both women of color who don’t let failure — no matter how uncomfortable it is — get in the way of what they want to accomplish. They realize that the possibility of failure is part of everyday life, kind of like breathing. 

For Alma to start dreaming without limitations, it took a 5th grade experience of answering a question her teacher posed:

“If you had no boundaries and no limits, what would you like to do with your life?”

Dreaming without limits is what she still does to this day. Alma has worked in countless leadership roles and has worked with large organizations like BP. Now as the founder of a business, there are plenty of opportunities for mistakes. 

Alma doesn’t even acknowledge that failure is an option, though. She leads with so much purpose that when things go wrong, her purpose pushes her to keep moving her forward. When you remember why you started pursuing your dreams, it will keep you going, despite the failures that can come along with you. 

Alma grew up with immigrant parents from Mexico who only knew a woman’s role to be a housewife. But Alma dreamed bigger than this. From getting a divorce while in law school, to getting her Master’s degree, she focused on the actions she can take to achieve her goals. It’s easier to sit on a dream, worrying about the outcome, instead of making moves. Alma chose the latter. Ticking off the boxes because her purpose of being a leader who travels the world was so strong. 

When we spoke to Shonna, she had a very similar her approach. She goes for what she believes in, but fully acknowledges that failure can happen.

Her fear of it is pretty low, and she forges ahead anyway. Recognizing that fear is scary is powerful in and of itself.

Choosing to be vulnerable towards failure can empower you. 

There’s no way to encounter the fear if you don’t recognize that it’s present. For Shonna, failing isn’t a big deal. It’s another day in the office. 

Shonna likes to try things out and see what happens. Not all of us are self-proclaimed risk-takers. However, making small decisions as you work towards your dreams can get you more comfortable with simply trying things out. Shonna works in tech, a pretty tough industry with very few women of color. But she uses the difficult space as fuel to take risks despite the possibility of things going wrong. It sounds brave, but it comes down to making small moves at a time to slowly get comfortable with messing up.  

How can you get better at failure?

Think about how you want to live your life if there were no limits. Using that thought as your compass is what can shed away what limits your imagination, which is the fear of failure. This thinking is what can open up a world of possibilities — just like it did for Alma — to dream big and make things happen. If it weren’t for her trudging along, she wouldn’t have spent years making a difference building businesses and communities and impacting the world.

The same can go for you. If you don’t get comfortable with the occasional hiccups, you won’t be able to build something big for yourself and others! Get more tips on how to embrace failure and keep moving forward.

About Color Forward

Color Forward highlights multicultural women through their journeys as powerful pioneers, change-makers, and rule-breakers. We understand that now, more than ever is the time to inspire and enable women to fully own their voice and power. We know that multicultural women are ready to take their careers to the next level. Through the storytelling of those who have gone before us, quite often off the beaten path of traditional career trajectories, our goal is to have our listeners hear versions of themselves in the narratives, inspired to live out their own dreams. Listen to the episodes now.